We Broke Up But I Don’t Have a Custody Order
Child custody is one of the most contentious issues you will face. Even as you come to terms with what has happened, the thought of giving up time with your children seems impossible. Custody is often a separate process than divorce, so it is important to get it underway as quickly as possible. Your children deserve routine and consistency during this time of uncertainty, and a court ordered custody agreement will provide structure you and they can rely on.
Before the custody order, you and the other parent have equal rights to your children, and your children have equal rights to both of their parents. The parent who remains in the family home does not have possession rights as though the children are property. Barring any existing criminal matters, both parents have equal access to the children until the custody order is in place.
What Do We Need to Do for Custody?
The first issue to resolve is a schedule. Children experience distress when they do not know what to expect from one day to the next and when they are witnessing their parents in conflict. The best way to care for your children is to keep them out of any custody battle. Rather than exchanging children at each other’s doorsteps, it may be a good idea to work around the school day so that the parents have less contact with each other. Make sure that every relevant office or organization has both parents’ information on file with a note that both must be contacted in every instance. This includes:
· School office
· Medical offices
· Sports leagues and social clubs
· Children’s church
· Child’s employer
When you create the schedule, make sure it is in writing. Email is a great way to keep a record of schedules and changes. Exchange calendars and agree to which functions you will both attend, and which will only be attended by the parent on schedule. Do not make unilateral decisions regarding school, extra-curricular activities, vacations, financial commitments, or medical procedures. Share information of that nature in writing and make sure all agreements are also recorded.
If things are going well, and you find that co-parenting is possible, a knowledgeable custody lawyer can turn your agreement into a Stipulation appropriate to be filed in court. This is typically a positive outcome.
What Happens When My Ex Will Not Agree to a Schedule?
The custody process is designed for this situation in mind. When parents do not agree to a schedule, petitions need to be filed to have the court step to make a Custody Order. In Bucks and Montgomery Counties, you will have an opportunity to meet with a custody conference officer who will attempt to find a resolution both parties can live with. If an agreement is not found, the case will move on to a judge to make a decision and enter an Order that the judge feels is in the best interests of the children.
Your family law attorney should prepare you for your custody conference and attend with you. Your attorney will remind you of what you will be asked and how to approach the conference. If you have fears regarding abuse, safety of the children, or criminal behavior, discuss that with your attorney to learn more about your options.
Glenn-Dinwoodie Law, LLC is experienced in all matters of family law and child custody. We are focused on collaborative resolutions that remove the conflict and stress from divorce and custody matters, and we also approach traditional litigation with logic and tenacity. Contact us for your initial consultation to learn more about how Glenn-Dinwoodie Law, LLC can help you reach a fair custody arrangement. Glenn-Dinwoodie Law, LLC has offices in Doylestown and Plymouth Meeting, and we serve clients across Bucks County and Montgomery County.